Do you ever wonder what life looks like from the eyes of a dog? Sometimes I look at Max and wonder what his days are like. I guess this is pretty typical for him...
5:15 a.m. - Lie in my kennel watch daddy come down the stairs. Listen to him eat his cereal in the kitchen, watch him put on his shoes in the front hall, and then watch him leave for work.
5:20 a.m. - Go back to sleep.
7:30 a.m. - Wake back up as mommy comes down the stairs. Stand up and step out of the kennel as she lets me out. Stretch front legs. Stretch back legs. Yawn really big.
7:31 a.m. - Trot to the back door and go out to potty. Make the rounds of the yard, inspecting the entire fence line for squirrels, birds, rabbits, and other interlopers.
7:40 a.m. - Watch mommy turn on the sprinkler to water the plants, and RUN back into the house. The sprinkler is very scary. (One time it got me WET.) Watch as mommy puts dog food into my bowl. Sniff it, but decide to save it for later.
7:42 a.m. - Bark to remind mommy to open the window shade behind the couch so that I can see out the window into the back yard during the day.
7:45 a.m. - Jump up onto the couch for a quick snooze while mommy works on the computer.
8:15 a.m. - Climb the stairs to watch mommy run on the treadmill. Get bored with it and go back downstairs.
8:20 a.m. - Bark at people and dogs walking in the park across the street. (Note to self: this is a particularly good time for this because mommy is on the treadmill, so she won't scold me.)
8:30 a.m. - Go back upstairs to the workout room. Lie down for a nap.
8:50 a.m - Follow mommy to the bathroom while she showers. Lie down outside the door for a nap.
9:10 a.m. - Go back outside to potty one more time before mommy leaves for work.
9:15 a.m. - Come back into the house and watch mommy leave for work. As she drives away, bark very loudly at all dogs in view across the street.
9:20 a.m. - Climb the stairs to see if mommy or daddy left anything interesting in reach. Check mommy's night table for used Kleenex. Check the floor for shoes or dirty clothes. Bring all treasures that I find downstairs to the dining room and make a pile of stuff under the table.
9:25 a.m. - Make a round of the downstairs looking for shoes. Add to the pile of chewables under the dining room table.
9:30 a.m. - Sniff the entire kitchen. Jump up to pull any food off the counters and eat it right away. Destroy the evidence by hiding it behind the trash can.
9:31 a.m. - While I'm near the trash can, stick my face inside it and rummage around for stuff that smells fun to chew. This includes cardboard, food, and plastic wrappers. Pretty much anything, really. Add all of this to the pile in the dining room.
9:40 a.m. - Spend an hour or two lying on the dining room rug under the table, chewing on all treasures.
11:15 a.m. - Get a sip of water from the kitchen, and then head into the living room. Jump up on the couch to survey the back yard. Bark at squirrels and birds.
11:20 a.m. - Lie down for a nap. I'm exhausted.
2:45 p.m. - Wake up from nap. Go to front door and look for mommy's car. Lie down on the dining room rug and watch until mommy comes home from work.
3:30 p.m. - Hear mommy's car drive up. Run to front door and bark to welcome her. Remember that you were naughty and made a mess while she was gone. Slink up the stairs or behind the couch to hide and hope that she doesn't notice.
3:32 p.m. - Get scolded for getting into stuff and chewing up shoes.
3:33 p.m. - Go out into the backyard to potty and make the rounds of the fence line. Chase off squirrels and birds.
3:45 p.m. - Come back into the house. Eat the food in my bowl while mommy washes the dishes and does early work for preparing daddy's dinner.
4:00 p.m. - Follow mommy to the couch and push my way into her lap, making sure that I'm between her and the laptop so that she will hug me and pet me. Settle in for another nap in her lap while she works for a few more hours.
7:30 p.m. - Wake up and follow mommy around as she does laundry and cleans up the house. Keep a close eye on the front door to watch for daddy coming home.
8:30 p.m. - Watch mommy make dinner. Keep watching the front door for daddy.
8:45 p.m. - Daddy comes home from work! Greet him with barks, yelps, jumping, and lots of energy. Wrestle with him on the floor while he tries to take his shoes off.
8:50 p.m. - Sit at the top of the basement stairs while daddy does his workout down in the basement.
9:15 p.m. - Watch mommy and daddy eat dinner on the couch. Jump up onto the couch and push my way in between them while they eat so that I get the maximum amount of attention at all times.
9:30 p.m. - Watch mommy go upstairs to get her night shower. Eat any scraps off the floor that might have been dropped during dinner. Then lay in daddy's lap on the couch while he plays video games. Squirm periodically so that he remembers to pet and talk to me.
9:45 p.m. - Potty outside one more time before bed. Lay down in my kennel with a doggy treat while daddy gets his shower.
10:00 p.m. - Lights out - time for sleep!