Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Wandering in the Desert

I've been trying for a week to get the rest of my retreat center pictures to upload, but they're being stubborn, so I'm giving up for now.  I might try again when life isn't so crazy.  People keep (insightfully) asking me how I'm doing in the midst of all this transition and turmoil, and unless they catch me at a particularly low point in the week (wink, wink, Mary Martha and Rebecca) I just sort of smile and say in a dazed fog, "I'm doing okay for now!" 

I think that's true...I think. 

I mean, how does a person feel when they're constantly bludgeoned on the head for three months straight?  Do they eventually get used to it?  I think that's the point where I currently am...just experiencing the calm of resignation to my fate. 

Now, let me hasten to add that I'm very thankful we sold our house.  We prayed for over a year that we'd be able to sell it, and it was worth it.  I have no doubts on that score.  I'm also very thankful to be pregnant.  We wanted another baby so badly, and we've got one.  Praise the LORD!!!!  But I can honestly say that sometimes the Lord's answers don't exactly turn out to be what I'd pictured.  I mean, to be 29 weeks into a hyperemesis-plagued pregnancy, moving halfway across the country, camping out among 3 different temporary living spaces over the course of 11 weeks, during the most demanding and hectic time of my work year, with a husband trying to finish 4 different medical publications at once (and he's running half-marathons each week on the side) and a two-year old who is struggling with understandable anxiety regarding the changes going on?  Let's just say that I'm glad the Lord is in control and not me.  Because I'm definitely NOT in control of our lives right now. 

Sometimes I feel like one of the children of Israel, wandering in the desert, waiting to get to the promised land. 

Although, at least we have air conditioning. 

Okay, I'd probably better head off to bed, so that I don't get too sick tomorrow.  Goodnight, everyone!

1 comment:

Vicky said...

I think you are coping very well moment by moment. This is how I make it when there is alot of stress...Live in the present doing what God wills for you in these five minutes, make the moment you are in as good as you can and don't worry about the ones ahead, and finally, continually refer to Matthew 6:25-34. Like you, I also like to remind myself that God is in control and think about who He is. How wonderful that He who can do all that He wills actually cares about me and will only allow that which is good for me.